Sarcastic Humour

Thanks alot too the ones who relax me,take my shit and get me wet!!!


You say I'm dirty minded... but how did you understand what I meant? ;)


Love me or Hate me...It's still an obsession and I win either way. Always =)


Did any body get the licence plate of that Mac truck that just ran my ass over!!


I just hate it when I wake up in the morning, and I forget to turn my swag on.


I can help you find what your looking for, step one, pull your head out your ass!


Did you just like your own status? Seriously, That's like calling you cell phone from your house phone to talk to yourself.


I so didn't fall for you... You fucking tripped me!


I'm surrounded by people suffering from Thy-Needith-to-Extracticus-thy-Headicus- from-thy-Buttockimus syndrome. Is there a cure?


I'm sorry but I have reached my maximum allowable exposure to stupidity limit for the day. I'll have to get back to you.


Is making some changes in their life, Feel free to comment, if I don't respond... well, then your one of the changes.


Sometimes when I'm bored, I walk into my room, and stand in there and pretend I'm a carrot.


When the phone rings and you want to screw with the caller, just answer saying, "Joe's Crematorium - You kill 'em, we grill 'em."


the blond couldn't figure out the tiger puzzle so she called her boyfriend when he came over he said " lets put the frosted flakes back in the box okay"


The BEST part of waking up? Hitting the snooze button and going back to sleep.


Got visited by 3 spirits last night. Rum, Brandy & Tequila! You there, what day is it?


Lets start a story Ill start.There once was a pony.OKAY GO!!


People are like a box of chocolates... Some you regret ever trying, some are good, a few are great... and the nutty ones you keep around for a rainy day. lol


If i had a wedgie and no arms, would you help me pick it out?


"loves" people who are all "let's spread my personal life all over my facebook profile!" and then when you comment they're all "OMG! mind your business!"


If i was arrested for something what would it be for?


Airplane Puppies ! because there cockpits lol


What mad fucker made up the line "Have a happy period"? They should be sent to the bloody death chamber XS


How can a man leave their father & husband figure for a whore. Could it be that they wants to get their Bachelor's Pimp Degree. Fastest education ; D !!!


When the phone rings and you want to screw with the caller, just answer saying, "Bob's Orphanage, you make 'em, we take 'em!"


Hallmark: When you care enough to send the bullshit they REALLY want to hear!


So, I was thinking...there's a reason the knight in shining armor is covering their face... Happily ever after my ass!


. . . is pretty sure they knows folks who stood in line for second helpings of 'special kind of stupid'.


I'm not strange..I'm great with a splash of What the F**k


my mother made me female, my education made me smart, my life made me strong, and my ex's made me a BITCH!!! Thanks to everyone ;)