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Showing posts with label Sarcastic Statuses. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Sarcastic Statuses. Show all posts

Sunday 6 May 2012

Sarcastic Statuses


A new year is like a clean slate, just waiting for somebody to run their fingernails across it.


Sincerely, people of the world


Why is it that when you ask a man to do something and he doesn't, he's resting, but when you ask a woman to do something and she doesn't, she's lazy?


Love me or Hate me but either way i must be important bc u sure are thinkin bout me haha!!!


Don't take my kindness for weakness. Its because of your weakness I gave you my kindness.


OK, so let me get this straight, you want me to like you...but then you act like THAT?


thinks that it is not a bad thing to have low expectations. The lower your expectations, the less you are disappointed...


"The grass is always greener on the other side" is directly proportional to the amount of bullshit you will find there!!!


is free from any intimidation and colonialism and curse and check out to its paradise


When I had a heart attack, they wrote for an ambulance.


When faced with tough decisions ask your children for advice!


Keep talking shit bout me you're making me famous


Plain and Simple..Please leave my name out my mouth if you don't know me


We're friends. That means when you smile, I smile. You're sad, I'm sad. You laugh, I laugh. You hurt, I hurt. You need money...go to a bank, I'm broke!


When you see a packet of fags saying "Smoking kills". Well I need a sign in front of me saying "BOREDOM KILLS"..sigh x


what deeply twisted mind named the fear of long words "hippopotomonstrosesquipedaliophobia". Whoever you are, you are a genius & I salute you.


If you don't know me when all is well, how about forgetting who I am when you need something from me...


So ladies, next time somebody calls you a bitch...SMILE...And say Thank You!


wants a dick shrinking powered to put in ex-husbands underwear!


There are many ways to win someone back. Drunk dialing them at 3am isn't one of them, LOL.


Hmmmm Common sense is that when you have 5 kids by 4 different fathers! Just Sayin.


Shut up everybody! Shut up! Don't move, don't speak, don't breathe. I'm trying to think! You, face the other way, you're putting me off!


Patience is a virtue,possess it if you can,seldom found in women,but NEVER in a man!


Hm-mm never say never? Sorry Justin but you just said it twice


Remember..Save your self respect...it's YOURS and no one Else's so don't just pass it out like a random bag of chips..guys don't like used up product!!


...marriage license is not a license to mistreat,disrespect..lie.


No I DIDN'T trip I just tackled the door because it was trying to throw a football to the other door!


One day, beyonce called Justin Bieber and asked if he wanted to sing her song at his concert. He asked which one. She laughed and replied, "If i was a boy".


Today when I got home I mistaken the boyfriend for the dog. *Mental Note To Self * Time to get a dog.


When you get ready to eat your words you might want to pull your head out of your ass first. Just sayin...


WOW! Some people never cease to AMAZE me! Seriously? Sucks when you don't have any control so you have to use others to control others huh?


Take your attitude and shove it!


u can manipulate, exaggerate and twist the truth all u want to make me look bad, but just remember don't underestimate me, i can f*** u over 10 times worse!!


I just discovered something that will improve my cooking powers, the smoke alarm is apparently not a timer...

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