I’m not shy, I’m holding back my awesomeness, so I don’t intimidate you..
Just saw two homeless men hitting each other with pieces of cardboard. Pillow fight.
If someone doesn’t appreciate your presence, make them appreciate your absence.
Whenever I talk with someone who stutters… I yell “REMIX”
The awkward moment when you run over your own banana peel in Mario cart.
2013. The year when the movie 2012 will be moved from the action section, to comedy section.
LIKE if you LOVE those conversations you skip sleep for.
Everyone has that “make the other person sound incredibly stupid” voice when describing an argument.
That baby dinosaur noise you make when you stretch.
Giving your friend “the look” when you see someone attractive.
Every day, I think about texting you first. But then I think, “If you really wanted to talk to me, you’d text me first.”
Oh, you only live once? I had no idea, please tell me more.
A jealous woman does better research than FBI.
You’re just as useful as a Red Light on Grand Theft Auto.
suns upside down is still suns MIND = BLOWN
